The Better Humans Daily
By Coach Tony
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Pausing the newsletter for some big changes.
Hi all, I’m going to pause the newsletter and make changes to it, and then relaunch it Wednesday, July 13th. Huh? Yeah, the details are top secret until then, but I’m excited for them. A big change is coming. I get a stream of letters telling me that many of …
In order to express ourselves, we need to know ourselves.
A few TikToks today that moved me and that I hope move some of you.- - - - -In order to express ourselves, we have to know ourselves. This is an excellent explanation of the creative spirit and the power of art. All of us have this in us. It’s worth getting t…
It's productive to know when you aren't centered.
#1. A mindfulness goal to identify when you aren’t centered.A lot of people have adopted meditation as a practice for mental strength and high performance. For example, here is recent NBA champion Draymond Green talking about how meditation helps him notice w…
Pleasure is fine, but satisfaction is what you should chase.
#1. What was Steph Curry crying about?I watched Steph Curry win the NBA championship yesterday and then start crying as the clock ran out. It’s probably the most I’ve ever seen a professional athlete cry. But this is his fourth time winning, so it’s not new a…
The skill set of asserting yourself is very different from being a pushy person.
#1. A quick tutorial on pushing back at work.Two themes here.One is that I think there is a very valuable skill set around asserting yourself that is distinct from being a pushy person. So I try to look for ways to teach that in the newsletter.The other is th…
If you want to be the life of the party, host it.
The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.~ Keith Ferrazzi- - - - -#1. Lessons from a top-tier party host.My friend Nick Gray has the first chapter of his new book up: The 2-Hour Cocktail Party. I’ve been to two of his parties and I can conf…
Live or die by the skills you practiced. That is the secret to confidence.
Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by the ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~ Albert EinsteinI saw that quote in a TikTok and it reminded me of work where it’s so easy to label someone as either good…
A strong case for moving to phone calls instead of video meetings.
#1. Take your next meeting over the phone.This is an idea that came to me first as a rumor and then through personal observation. I’ve had a lot of meetings recently and the audio-only ones are better, more connected, and less exhausting than the video ones.W…
Lessons from beating procrastination 260 times.
Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so. ~ Noam Chomsky- - - - -#1. There is a glass-half-full approach to procrastinatio…
If you are expecting a reward and don't get it, dopamine falls steeply.
When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. ~ Donald Miller- - - - -#1. Dopamine and expectations.This is from David Rock’s (Not So Great) Expectations.However, if you’re expecting a reward and you don’t get it, dopamine …
A very practical approach to falsification mindsets so that you can be right more often.
Confronting information that directly challenges existing beliefs can be psychologically threatening to people, especially if the information challenges their sense of identity. ~ Rachel Hilary Brown- - - - -#1. Analysis of Competing Hypotheses.Lance W. sugge…
The meticulousness of high performers.
I collect TikToks that make me think differently. Here are some of my favs from the last week.- - - - -I’m not sure what to make of Rafael Nadal’s meticulous placement of his water bottle. He’s either goofing off or we are getting a peek at the meticulousness…
Being yourself in a world of manipulations.
It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone. ~ Hans F. Hansen- - - - -#1. Loot boxes in video games.I’ve been running into a string of articles about how loot boxes in video games are equivalent to gambling. The current chatter seem…
Winning gives you a temporary testosterone boost. Losing is the opposite.
#1. Temporary testosterone changes.The research on this covers a lot of cases. It’s true when you are playing a game. But most interesting to me is that it’s also true when you are merely a fan watching a game.I watched the Warriors lose last night. That’s my…
Advice for people who feel overwhelmed by "all the bad in the world."
Smart informed people know there’s plenty of bad. Social tension (to say the least), climate, crashing economies, war in Europe, COVID, long COVID, etc., etc. So what do you do with that feeling?I most often channel it into action and remind myself of a socia…
Option #1: Do nothing. What are your other options?
#1. Using gut reactions to trigger habits.This is an example of combining self-improvement skills. One is habit building, and the other is mindfulness about your feelings.I saw a meme on Twitter that essentially went:Option 1: Do nothingAdvantages:* Low compl…
Nobody who is having a good day takes the time to be mean to strangers on the internet.
Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom. ~ Theodore Isaac Rubin- - - - -Even though he says it’s not “kill them with kindness” it kind of is. Gary Vee does a good job of making his default response to ang…
Productivity hacks are nice, but mastering prioritization is nicer.
We obsess with productivity instead of focusing on priority. Productivity is trying to be the world’s fastest typist. Priority is trying to be the world’s best writer. ~ Chris HladczukThat quote has me thinking about deciding what to work on. It’s not an easy…
The best advice I ever got from a venture capitalist.
#1. Very good advice for a new manager.A long time ago I was interviewing to manage the engineering team at a startup. This team included Jack Dorsey, who built the first version of Twitter on that team. But I was woefully lacking in experience and so I was j…
The secret to being likable is LIKING others.
Listening is good, but the intent has to be curiosity, not generosity. True dialogue does not happen when we pretend to listen, and it certainly cannot happen if we are not listening at all. ~ Ajit Singh- - - - -#1. Charisma.I was doing some research on liste…